Monday, July 7, 2014

This Is Where I've Been....

I'm back! It's been awhile, so let me begin by filling you in as to where I've been. My husband and I decided to have a baby in August of 2011. We knew it wasn't going to be easy so we sought the help of Boston IVF. Unfortunately, we were turned away because my hormone levels (egg reserve) did not meet there acceptable criteria. I was told that I would need to use an egg donor. Needless to say, my husband and I were stunned. The doctor I saw referred me to an amazing surgeon at Newton-Wellsesley Hospital to remove the uterine fibroids I had in my uterus. Stephanie Morris successfully removed my fibroids on December 8, 2011. Now I just needed to wait three months for my uterus to heal. At that point, we would seek a second opinion on our fertility. Unfortunately, a week after my surgery I developed a blood clot in my upper left arm.  This meant I would have to take blood thinners for three or four months. Seemed like it was one set back after another. I gain 20 pounds before I even got pregnant. Stephanie Morris was nice enough to refer me to a fertility Dr that she knew could probably help me. (Rachel Ashby - Brigham & Women's) On our third try at IVF, we found out we were pregnant on October 12, 2012. Isabella Rose Donovan was born on June 7, 2013.

I wish I could say it was pure bliss after that, it wasn't. Isabella was born 4.9 pounds and she had some initial breathing issues. She spent the first 10 days of her life in the Newton-Wellseley Hospital NICU. When she was in the NICU it seemed like she was going to be an easy baby. She would wake up for a few minutes, eat, poop and go back to sleep. This patterned changed immediately when be brought her home. I'll speed the story up from here. Isabella's pediatrician found a heart murmur when examining her, a few days after she came home. The next thing you know, we are at Children's Hospital the next day having a full cardiac (heart) exam, including an hour long ultrasound of her heart. The initial findings were that Isabella had severe narrowing of her pulmonary arteries and some minor narrowing of her aortic valve. Her cardiologist told us that some of her facial characteristics, along with her heart issues, suggested she had Williams Syndrome. Next we would need to see a genetic cardiologist that would do the blood work necessary to diagnose her officially. Before I even knew the results, I knew Isabella had Williams Syndrome. The sadness set in immediately. The life that I was going to give her was about to take a different path. Surgeries and constant cardiac evaluations would now be our norm.  Throughout the last year I have actually gained weight, instead of losing it. Anticipating each operation or exam creates anxiety and fear all over again. This is my excuse for not being myself. It's all about to change. Isabella is doing great and I refuse to let our circumstances keep me depressed, fat and hopeless. I'm taking back all my power and I am going to reclaim who I was before all this happened. Isabella deserves an awesome mom and mentor and that's who I was before I let this sadness and uncertainty affect me. True is, Isabella is an amazing little lady and I should be celebrating her life everyday. She's truly a dream come true. There's better ways to cope with fear, I've done it. Exercise and clean eating not only make you look great on the outside, but it makes you feel healthier on the inside too!
It's on! 
Watch me lose all this (poor me FAT), here I go!!

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